Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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