Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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