also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
