Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize