dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
