Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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