i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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