I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
