what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
