Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
