So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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