on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
