there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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