I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
