is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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