she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
