no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
