i permit you to call me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
