He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
high people should be assigned attendants
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize