all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
