her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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