Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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