Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
