I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
