worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
