How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
