well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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