so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
