SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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