My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
