i barfeds in our rink
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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