I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize