Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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