O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
