I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize