tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
babies were throwing up all over the place
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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