This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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