is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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