Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
