I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
