omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
