We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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