I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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