I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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