Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize