I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
