I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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