yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
