Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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