I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
