so that wasnt chicken after all
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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