i barfeds in our rink
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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