What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
