forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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