i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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