you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
