I look better un-naked...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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