u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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