Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
