I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
