called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
