u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
