It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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