I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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