I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My bed smells like the plague
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
