We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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